Above is my 3rd painting. I have named it Midnight's Garden. Basically, it's about how a garden comes alive at midnight and only a few peaceful souls, like the pleasant blue eyed beauty in the painting, can experience it.
I have to say "my 3rd painting" because if anyone is reading this blog for the first time they will hopefully have some compassion for me based on the fact that I am extremely green when it comes to painting. Yes, painting has brought out all sorts of insecurities that I wasn't aware I had. When I was working on this particular painting my poor husband was repeatedly asked (by me) on a consistent and daily basis, questions like "Does it look juvenile to you? Should I paint over the newspaper petals because they look lame? Does it need more shading? Do you like her eyes or should I change them? At one point my husband had said " I like the moon... that is a moon right? I assured him it was a moon that I had painted and then there was a long pause which led to my next predictable question "What did you think it was?" Finally he had had enough and said "I thought it was a moon, but I was worried that you might have said (now using his pretend crying voice) No it's not a moon, it's the eye of a fly." He then went on to remind me of my previous post about enjoying the process of doing something challenging and not worrying about whether it is good or not. That right there is so difficult for me to do, but so necessary. I feel like I need to look at painting as my creative outlet and as simply a form of expression for which is not to be judged but enjoyed. I need to just let go of SELF and any desire to perform and simply express. Woe that felt like therapy.
Speaking of therapy, on CNN.com there is an article titled Your blog can be group therapy. The article explains how there is basically a blog about anything and everything and how many people use blogs as a form of group therapy. It then goes on to explain how writing is a therapeutic outlet and being that the blog is public and people leave comments (ahem) this provides a type of support system. Anyways, it's a very interesting article.
So, I now consider you part of my group therapy. What I am about to do next is going to be quite difficult, but I'm sure that with the support of my "group" I CAN DO IT. OK - here I go (deep breath).
Hi, My name is Jamie and I'm a... craftaholic, shopaholic, birdaholic, and a wannabe painter-aholic.
Phew! I feel so much better now.